Have you experienced the new YouTube channel? Google has outdone itself on this one. Google has rolled out some pure shit in the past and they have the ability to create a user interface that no one can figure out. The new YouTube channels give you the worst of both worlds. Here is what I discovered the hard way.
You can’t control the colours of your channel any more. Everyone gets the same ugly black on white shit it seems.
I’ve got some other YouTube channels linked over on the right side of my channel and after poking around for 30 minutes I still haven’t figured out how to edit those.
Best of all, I managed to lock myself out of my channel and it took me an hour to figure out how to get back in. But don’t ask me how I did it because it was so convoluted and I was operating at a level of such frustration that I couldn’t repeat the process if I had to.
Here is the story which brings me to my next bitch about Google.
As I’m upgrading the YouTube channel I get some shit about “do you want to create a Google+ page for your channel.” It’s like that constant nag from YouTube about “do you want to use your real name.” How many fucking times do I have to say “no” to this shit?
So I think to myself, this is probably harmless (yea, right) and just make the fucking page in the hope (here I will remind both myself and you that “hope” is not a process) that YouTube will not ask me this question again every time I log in.
So I make the fucking page and I’m digging thru the YouTube configuration stuff trying to figure shit out and I see an option to disconnect your Google+ page from your YouTube channel. Fuck yes! Score. I just made the fucking page now I can get rid of it.
Can you say fuck up?
See here is what happens if you click on that. The Google+ page isn’t “disconnected” from YouTube. YouTube is disconnected from Google+ and you are now identified by YouTube as the Google+ page you just created. Welcome to Hell.
Presto! You can no longer access your YouTube channel.
Eventually I regained access and now when I log on to YouTube I have to choose which identity I’m going to use. My original YouTube identity or the new Google+ identity. And all my content has had ownership transferred to the new Google+ page.
This is a perfect example of how brilliant the Google idiots are.
Let me explain.
Let’s say you looked at Facebook and asked “How can I create another social network that takes all the worst parts of Facebook and adds one single best part of Twitter then dumps a giant pile of steaming peanut filled shit on top of that?” The answer is of course Google+.
Let’s say you create Google+ and no one uses it except virgins who live in their mother’s basements. Plus you are existing in a world where success is measured by things like page views and how many users you have. What do you do now?
One thing you do is tie your search engine results to people using Google+ to “plus one” your material. The more people on Google+ plus one your website the higher you website ranks in Google. What does this create? A mad rush to get on Google+ and start plus one-ing your own shit and trying to get others to do it. “Wow, look at all the activity on Google+! People love us!” No, you are manipulating people who are obsessed with SEO.
Then by getting YouTube users to create a Google+ page for their YouTube you have just added another page and another user. “Look how fast Google+ is growing! We gained 17,393,883,834 users in the last 24 hours!” Never mind how many of these “users” are actually pages that will never be visited, updated or used. I don’t even know the address of this page nor do I care.
And since I now have two identities on YouTube Google can claim me as another user on YouTube and their numbers go up as well.
Have you seen the South Park episode about how 14 year old girls and Harley riders are in need of constant attention? I add Google to that list. Apple comes pretty close to being the winner when it comes to needing your attention and trying to force its way into your life but Google is the clear winner.