It’s Friday night in Fort Collins and the “Future of America” is getting their skank on.
I had to venture into downtown Fort Collins at 1900 (that’s 7pm for you civilians) and yet again I was reminded of why I don’t normally do that.
Loud ass college kids covered the sidewalk. The boys trying desperately to conceal the fact that they are douchbags. The girls dressed in their best skanky outfits looking for some douchbag dumb enough to buy them some booze.
I am getting old – ’cause I sure as fuck ain’t getting mature. The last time I was interested in going to a bar on Friday night I was in the Army and it was a strip club. And not a lame strip club. In Columbus, Georgia we had strip clubs that got shut down at least once a month for having naked women on stage. Have you danced on the stage at a strip club with a naked woman? I have. If you haven’t don’t ever fucking talk to me about strip clubs. Punk.
Been there. Done that. Left the t-shirt back stage.
Meanwhile the college kids who live (I use the term “live” loosely when it comes to college kids) are playing bear pong, yelling really lound and cranking Tom Jones and Fergi on the sterios, at the same time. Yes. Tom and Fergi are trying to out-vocalize each other as I type this.
Tom is telling a pussycat that he loves her and Fergi is shouting something about her ass.
Meanwhile, as I was going to my front door I saw the three hottest women I’ve seen in ages. My neighbors keep their windows open, as in no curtains or shades, and looking thru the window I saw three girls, around the table, with books and paper in front of them and pencils in their hands.
And none of them were dressed like whores.
I’d have knocked on the door and told them how hot that is but they would have probably called the cops. Go figure.